I just might. Especially for the FNAF draw meme; I feel like it’d be fun to stream that. I’m already working on one doodle that I’ll post soon. It could also be a live ask thing, too!
Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”
!!! this thing! this thing right here!
This.
This.
THIS.
Oh, this.
How many a relationship/friendship have I made weird/unstable because of this… can’t count and not sure if I could I’d like the answer.
If you’re my friend… I am sorry. I know it comes across as clingy and seeking approval could really present a poor image of how I really am.
Please just try to bear with me.
Getting past abuse takes a long time.
Hell, even the one person I’m going to tag… so that they can see, hopefully–right now I don’t think they follow my blog.
It’s been about fifteen minutes since the two of them left.
The pain in my arm has ebbed to a dull ache.
Being in here is both relaxing and causing me anxiety. Truthfully, I’d rather the room be poorly lit and hear the sounds of scraping metal of one of the animatronics searching for me than sitting here in this moderately well-lit room that was used for a birthday party.
Just wish they would have left some cake. I’m hungry, and one slice of pizza just isn’t gonna cut it. Wonder if I dare head for the kitchen… no, Mangle’ll be there and I’m sure she’d take more than just a chomp from my hand this time. I’m hungry but not that hungry.
*thump*
Okay… no need to totally freak out, just… it’s fine, it’ll be fine. It’s not the Puppet. I mean… he’s nowhere near the party rooms.
Unless Chica got everybody up.
And I do mean everybody.
Fuck.
*THUMP*
I look around. There’s nothing to defend myself with in here.
Welp, this is it. I’m dead.
*THUD*
I heard a bang, then the pop of… confetti?
“Ewwww ewww ewww ewww ewww… this wall was disgusting! Pinkie Pie, why did you need to bring your Party Cannon with?”
“Oh it was fun, Rarity! You just didn’t remember to giggle at the ghosties! And that’s because I had the eye twitch, ear flop, shaky knee and twitchy tail combo. Means that a friend of mine would need some cheering up!”
… it’s Rarity and Pinkie Pie. BECAUSE WHY NOT. This day has erased every definition of “insane” I’ve ever thought I knew. Also normal. And weird.
“Oh HEY there friend! You look like you’re having a tough day! Well, don’t worry, because…”
I put my hand over her muzzle and squeezed gently to get her to stop talking. Not really fair, but… wait, this is Pinkie Pie I’m thinking about here; she redefines the laws of physics at a whim, what the hell can these animatronics do to her?
Just… try to keep it a little quieter for a bit.
“Sure. So… this is that game that I’ve heard about.”
Of course she would have heard about it. Heck, I read about this on Equestria Daily.
Which means she knows about that game.
And I forgot all about Rarity.
Who proceeds to shriek in outrage.
If Chica and company didn’t know where I was before, they sure do now.
I’m… really not sure what to do here. I can hear Rarity protesting in some sort of moral rage about the horrible choice in décor and coming up with plans to fix it. I feel Pinkie Pie tug at my side.
“Cupcake?”
I have to fight the overwhelming desire to kick them out of her hoof and run screaming toward Mangle. Timing, Pinkie Pie. Timing.
Sure, Pinkie.
I take a cake from the plate she’s offering, and bite into it.
And then slowly slump to the floor as the stress gets to me on this… second, third night? I’ve lost track. Heck, I’m leaning toward that the laws that govern the universe have simply decided to stop working.
I made buttermilk pancakes for breakfast, then livetweeted the new episode. After that, I mowed the front yard, took a small break while trying to download today’s episode. I then went out with Mom to Home Depot and Cub Foods, came home and mowed the back yard, put summer furniture from the deck away, then put the new lights on the house to replace the ones we had up from last Christmas.
We then had dinner, Lasagna Soup from an October issue of Food Network Magazine which was pretty good.
Then, after washing dishes, I come downstairs and proceed to watch videos about abandoned malls of all things.
Now, from the Fallout Equestria universe, I could consider it research: heck, even in the Fallout universe itself, it’s conceivable that former shopping centers have been repurporsed to serve a different need.
Needless to say, my Saturday has been disjointed and really chaotic. It’s almost funny; I still have cards I traded with my friends last week that I haven’t touched or looked at since getting them. Really not like me to be honest.
I’m working on an update post and I’ll try to have it out before Midnight my time… although right now that’s not looking all that likely.
Toy Chica, “Old” Chica, and Fluttershy strolled through the hallways, heading toward the Break Room. Chica had “calmed down” and was now only brooding softly as she led the way through the halls.
“So, “Fluttershy”, where are you from again?”
“Ponyville. It’s a very nice place where all of my friends live.”
“Ooooh! Sis, can I go there with Fluttershy once we’ve finished the night shift?”
“Sure… there’s just the tiny problem that we’d need to explain why you’re not there in the morning. And management seems pretty keen on sending us back to Parts & Service in case we start acting weird.”
“Oh.”
“We’ve gotten to the break room. So, let’s get the first aid kit. Seriously, little sis… I don’t get why you’re so quick to defend this pathetic non-a-Night-Guard.”
“I’m… really not. I… well…” She pointed to Fluttershy.
Chica rolled her eyes. “And that’s your only reason? Wow. Didn’t take long for you to get soft. Next thing I know I’ll be seeing you bring the Night Guard something to drink!”
Toy Chica groaned and looked slightly annoyed with her sister.
“I’m missing something here, aren’t I?”
“Well, do you wanna do it, sis? I mean she is your friend… best she hear it from you.”
“Hear what from you, Toy Chica?” Fluttershy’s face grew odd with concern, her head canting to the side.
“Uhh… Fluttershy, I…”
“Whimper mentioned something about that others wanted to kill him…” Her ears drooped, tail going limp as she looked down toward the ground.
“But I’m not like that! We just… it’s how we’re programmed.”
Fluttershy sniffled.
“It’s… it’s okay. I’ve… been close to feeling like that before. But, we… that doesn’t happen in Ponyville.”
“Wait. Hold up. You… understand… murder, “Fluttershy”?”
“Can I try something to you? I promise I won’t hurt you.”
Chica chuckled. “Yeah… don’t think you could do that if you tried. Go ahead. I can’t wait to see what something as timid as you could do to me.”
“All right. I just need you to look at me.”
“That’s… it. I could be going after the Ni–WHAT THE…?”
The Stare shot out. Chica felt her body tense up and freeze.
“WHAT IS THIS! SIS?!”
“Don’t look at me, I didn’t even know she could do this!”
Fluttershy gave out a soft chuckle. “I call it The Stare. Guaranteed to make anything freeze and lock up as long as I keep looking at them.”
“I CAN’T MOVE! WOULD YOU STOP IT ALREADY? THE NIGHT GUARD COULD BE GETTING IN PLACES HE DOESN’T BELONG!”
“If, and only if, you say please.”
“Please.Please, Fluttershy, stop…”
Fluttershy closed her eyes, and Chica felt her body loosen up.
Get this done right quick so I can get a cup of coffee and start my Friday.
So…
Ican’tdraw.
Like, okay… that’s not precisely true; I have done some stuff that I have on my deviantART page but it’s hardly what I’d call good. On the scale of artists, I rank myself about a 27 on a 1 to 100 measure.
I’m still kicking around the idea of learning how (>.> I DON’T HAVE TIME AS IT IS TO DO EVERYTHING I WANT TO), taking a class ($$$), or just… practicing.
Over and over.
Repeatedly.
Ctrl+Z’ing everything I do because it doesn’t look right.
I’ve heard that Tumblr with art get more attention. So, believe me, y’all, it’s not of a lack of desire.
Toy Chica and Fluttershy left the room, the door closing behind the pair. The light ended right after crossing the threshold into the hallway.
Fluttershy eeped as her eyes fought to adjust to the darkness. Chica activated her eye-lights and illuminated the hallway in front of her.
“Stay close, Fluttershy… if what Whimper said is true, then Big Sis might not be as open to speaking with you right away.”
“O-okay.”
The beams of light that Toy Chica aimed down revealed the nature of the hallway; covered with the decorative accents of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria.
“So… Chica, who are the other members of your family aside from your sister?”
“Well, I kind of think of everybody here as one big family. There’s Mangle, Balloon Boy, Bonnie, and Freddy. They’re the best family I could ask for!”
“I have a brother… he has his moments.”
“What’s he like?”
“Well… he was a little “flighty” growing up, couldn’t really stick with anything for very long. It took my friend Rainbow Dash to help get some sense into him, and he finally finished something and turned into a hairdresser. What about yours?”
“Well, Mangle is playful and likes to pull off pranks from time to time. Balloon Boy is so sweet and playful, although that Shadow he hangs out with from time to time gives me the creeps…””
“What are you doing out here?”
Fluttershy turned as Toy Chica focused on the direction of the sound, her eye lights shining onto the form of her Big Sis.
“Ohh… well, I wanted to show you my new friend!”
Fluttershy gave a polite bow to Chica, flapping a wing toward the animatronic chicken.
“What… the hell… is… Sis, I’m all for a good joke but now is not the time.”
“I know it seems weird… but I am real. I’m Fluttershy.”
Chica blinked a couple of times. “Sis, it just… talked.”
“Yes. She’s real! We’re best friends!”
The elder chicken groaned. “Well, that’s wonderful. Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s, now… I’m looking for a certain human… named Whimper. Have you seen him?”
Fluttershy looked to Toy Chica, hoping to impart the non-verbal message of keeping Whimper’s location a secret.
“I have… but I think you’re wrong about him, sis.”
“He’s a tourist, sis. Not the Night Guard, not a maintenance worker; just some random idiot who walked into here and decided to mess around with Mangle! And we need to deal with him. You know the rules!”
“Sis, please…”
Fluttershy stepped forward. “Uhh, Miss Chica? Whimper, he’s hurt… and–”
“Good! That’ll make it easier to find him!”
“What precisely did he do wrong, Miss Chica?”
The larger animatronic chicken stopped to look at Fluttershy like she was stupid.
“You… really aren’t from here, are you?”
“No. I’m from… a different land.”
“I see.”
“I… we wanted to get the First Aid kit for Whimper, so we could help fix him.”
Chica scoffed. “You do understand what I’m going to do to him once I find him?”
“Yes, and I… don’t want you to do that. Maybe you could… talk to him?”
One of Chica’s leg servos gave out a resigned whine.
“I guess we could try it… so, you need the First Aid Kit? Follow me.”
Note Worthy's Notes 